Mother and Child Reunion
by AnyS
Summary: Elrond has fostered Estel for two years after his father Arathorn was killed by orcs. Now, Estel's mother Gilraen wants her son back. Elrond knows he has to let his foster son go, but will he be strong enough to get over the loss? CH 1 REVISED!
1. Chapter 1 Revised

**Mother and Child ****Reunion  
**

Disclaimer: Not mine, sigh. All Tolkien's.

Rate: PG (for angst)

Summary: Elrond has fostered Estel for two years after his father Arathorn had been killed by orcs. Now, Estel's mother Gilraen wants her son back. Elrond knows he has to let his foster son go, but will he be strong enough to get over the loss?

Warning / A/N: AU. I know, Gilraen spent her days in Imladris after Arathorn was killed and she never took Aragorn away from Elrond. Well, probably she won't do it in this story either. But we will have to wait and see. :)

Beta / Credits: Many thanks for Trinka for simply putting up with me and my plot bunnies and for encouraging me all the time. :) Also thanks to Alina for her help with this story! :)  
  
Special thanks to Isis Whit for pointing out my mistake concerning Gilraen coming from Gondor. I know she most likely would have come from some place in Arthedain, Cardolan or Rhudaur (all three parts of Arnor) - sorry for mixing things up. I got confused by the fact that Aragorn became King of Gondor in the end and, yes, to be honest, I didn't think much about where exactly Gilraen would have come from when I wrote this chapter - not because it is unimportant in general but because to put it frankly it is absolutely unimportant for the greater meaning of this story lol :) Thank you nonetheless for notifying me! :)

* * *

**Mother and Child ****Reunion**** - Chapter 1 **(revised)  
****

_No, I would not give you false hope  
On this strange and mournful day  
But the mother and child reunion  
Is only a motion away.  
  
_

Elrond and his oldest son Elladan watched the small child run around in the sun-flooded gardens, chasing after Elrohir. Happy laughter rang through the small grove – coming from both the little human boy and the younger twin son of Elrond as they ran after each other. Amazing how everything seemed to be so normal and yet it was the saddest day Elrond could recall after his wife had left him to sail West so many years ago.

The Lord of Imladris sighed. Not long now and he would not hear that laughter anymore. Soon this joy would be taken away from him and from his family. Already the one who could do such a cruel thing to them was on her way to Imladris. And Erlond knew that against this one person he would not fight with all his might. This day she would arrive to claim back her son, her only child. After two years, she would snatch him away from Elrond. Just like that. His friends and advisors had told him to let it go. To let it be as nature wanted it to be. A child belonged to its mother. And he was not even the boy's real father after all. But why did his heart simply keep on telling him the young boy with the wild dark curls and the open, intelligent grey eyes and a spirit brighter as the sun was his son?

_Oh, little darling of mine,  
I can't for the life of me  
Remember a sadder day.  
I know they say let it be  
But it just don't work out that way  
And the course of a lifetime runs  
Over and over again.  
  
_

Then again, who was he to keep a child away from its mother? Now that she had fully recovered from the orc attack that had taken away her beloved husband's life, and she felt well enough to take care of her son again, what could he do? He had no right, no claim on the child, no matter how much he wished he had.

A few days ago he had already informed his foster son, his Estel, that he would be reunited with his mother soon, and the joy he had seen in the eyes of his heart's son told him that he had made the right decision. Mother and child belonged together. No matter how cruelly it broke his heart.

_No, I would not give you false hope  
On this strange and mournful day  
When a mother and child reunion  
Is only a motion away.  
  
_

A small noise from the door snapped his attention away from the child that now was securely wrapped up in Elrohir's arms as he swung him around, much to Estel's wholehearted delight.

Elrond saw Glorfindel approach with a solemn expression on his face, and he knew it was time. She was here.

_Oh, little darling of mine,  
I just can't believe it's so.  
And though it seems strange to say  
I never been laid so low  
In such a mysterious way  
And the course of a lifetime runs  
Over and over again.  
  
_

Elrond heaved a sigh and turned back around. There was no need for Glorfindel to say anything. He knew. Elrond's gaze was caught by Elladan's who had stood by and watched just like he had. And in Elladan's eyes Elrond could see the same pain he felt in his heart. His oldest son nodded in understanding, which didn't go unnoticed by Elrohir. The younger twin instantly stopped swirling Estel around, his laughter died upon his lips and he looked down on the still beaming child in his arms. He securely sat the boy back down on his feet, trying hard to fight back the sadness that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Again, 'Ro, please…" Estel pleaded, holding out his arms to be picked up again and his innocent smile broke Elrohir's heart. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and looked helplessly at his father, his eyes brimming with still unshed tears.

Elrond approached the two and from behind swept Estel up in his arms, kissing the child's cheek playfully.

"Come now, my darling, you have a visitor." He tried his best to smile even though he knew that this smile would hardly reach his eyes.

"Nana is here?!" Estel exclaimed excitedly and started to wriggle on Elrond's arm.

"Ada, Ada, please, down!" He wriggled more and reluctantly the Lord of Imladris sat his foster son down on the ground. The child raced away from him into the direction of the main entrance. Elrond, Glorfindel and the twins followed listlessly.

There she stood, dressed in a deep blue gown, her dark hair neatly tied back in a royal knot at the back of her neck, an unreadable expression on her fair face.

_No, I would not give you false hope  
On this strange and mournful day  
But the mother and child reunion  
Is only a motion away.  
  
_

Estel held no shyness towards her. She had written to him frequently (even though the twins had to read the letters to him because he couldn't read yet) and had even visited the valley on his two birthdays he had held there. So he rushed towards her and hugged her legs fiercely.

"Nana, you are here!" He cried happily.

She laughed, bent down and kissed the top of her son's head lovingly.

Elrond felt his heart clench painfully in his chest. Everything felt so tight and cold and empty all of a sudden. The moment had come. He would have to set his most precious treasure free. He would have to let him go. Now. And with every step he took towards the woman, he felt as if she was stabbing him with a dagger. He knew she wasn't to blame for his pain though. And yet his heart faltered until it seemed to stop completely…

_Oh, oh, the mother and child reunion  
Is only a motion away.  
  
_

_to__ be continued…  
  
_

Inspired by "Mother and Child Reunion" written by Paul Simon


	2. Chapter 2 Butterfly

Disclaimer: see first chapter, please!

Betaed by my dear friend Trinka. Thank you so much. You rock!

I know this update is more overdue! Sorry, RL was a mess! :) Now, without further delay, on with the story! Hehe…

Song parts used at the beginning of this chapter are from "Butterfly" by Mariah Carey. 'sniff' such a beautiful song…

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****

**Mother and Child ****Reunion**** – Chapter 2**

****

_When__ you love someone so deeply  
__They__ become your life  
__It's__ easy to succumb to over whelming fears inside  
__Blindly__ I imagined I could  
__keep__ you under glass  
__Now__ I understand to hold you  
__I must open up my hands  
__And watch you rise_

_Spread__ your wings and prepare to fly  
__For you have become a butterfly  
__Fly__ abandonedly into the sun  
__If__ you should return to me  
__We__ truly were meant to be  
__So spread your wings and fly  
__Butterfly_

_I have learned that beauty  
__Has to flourish in the light  
__Wild horses run unbridled  
__Or their spirit dies  
__You have given me the courage  
__To be all that I can  
__And truly feel your heart will  
__Lead you back to me when you're  
__Ready__ to land_

_Spread your wings and prepare to fly  
__For you have become a butterfly  
__Fly abandonedly into the sun  
__If you should return to me  
__We truly were meant to be  
__So spread your wings and fly  
__Butterfly_

_I can't pretend these tears  
__Aren't overflowing steadily  
__I can't prevent this hurt from  
__Almost overtaking me  
__But I will stand and say goodbye  
__For you'll never be mine  
__Until you know the way it feels to fly_

_Spread your wings and prepare to fly…_

__

Gilraen picked her son up and held him tightly for a moment.

"Did you miss me?" she asked and kissed Estel's brow again. The child simply nodded vehemently and grinned wildly, slinging his tiny arms around her neck.

She laughed and rubbed his back, her eyes travelling towards Elrond who had come to a halt a few metres away from them as if afraid to get any closer. He inclined his head in a respectful greeting but she could tell he was avoiding her questioning gaze.

What was wrong with Elrond? she wondered. He had agreed, even approved of Estel's and her reunion, but right now he appeared to be far from happy.

Cautiously Gilraen approached the Lord of the serene haven that was Imladris, only to be stopped dead in her tracks by Estel's delighted voice.

"But now you're goin' t'stay forever, nana!" the boy exclaimed happily, burying his nose in the collar of her gown and inhaling deeply.

Slightly shocked, her eyes again sought out Elrond - whose head had snapped up sharply upon hearing the innocent statement from the small human boy. What she found in those deep grey eyes staring back at her made her heart clench painfully in her breast: Hope. Hope that Estel was right, that she would stay here for all time – and with her, naturally, her son.

But that was not her plan. He knew that. She had told him so when they had discussed this reunion. She did not belong here. Her place was with the rangers of the north. Her husband, their chieftain, might be dead, but her home was still wherever the rangers chose to stay. They were her people. She belonged to them.

A dead silence fell upon the courtyard as human and half-elf, mother and foster father, Gilraen and Elrond, stared at each other in a silent battle of wills. Where her eyes filled with determination, a small spark of remorse, and an unvoiced apology; his filled with hope, a plea, and so much pain that Gilraen was sure she could feel it crawl up her own spine, threatening to snap it any moment in his heart's stead.

"Nana? Ada?" Came Estel's uncertain voice. He was young and innocent, yes, but even he could not have missed the tension between the two he beheld as his parents.

Gilraen averted her eyes, unable to bear seeing the plea in Elrond's seemingly bottomless orbs anymore, for she knew she would falter if she looked at her son's keeper a moment longer. She was not willing to give up on her son. Not now, when she had finally come to claim Estel back.

A brief flicker of fear at the thought of losing her son again crossed her face, which did not go unnoticed by Elrond. And in that moment he gave up. He had no strength left to ask of her what he could not even say out loud. She had lost so much already. So had he. Like her, his spouse was also waiting for him on a different shore. But unlike her, he had so much more - his immortality, two brave sons and his beautiful daughter. And more than that, he was old, ancient even. His heart had learned to deal with loss. The Valar knew at what cost, but he had learned, nonetheless, to get used to the heartache until it was no more than a butterfly's fluttering against his breast. On the other hand, there was Gilraen, and she was young, so very young. And Estel was all she had. No, he could not ask of her what his heart demanded him to do.

_Oh, little darling of mine,  
I just can't believe it's so.  
And though it seems strange to say  
I never been laid so low  
In such a mysterious way  
And the course of a lifetime runs  
Over and over again._

"Your mother has come to bring you home, Estel," he said softly, stepping closer to mother and child.

"Bring me home? I'm at home here!" Estel replied, confusion written all over his small face.

"No, Estel. Your home is where your mother and your people are. And as you know, they do not live here, my little one," Elrond explained, touching Estel's cheek lightly with his fingertips, trying to smile as reassuringly as possible for his son's sake.

Wordlessly the child reached out to him, holding out his hands to be swapped up in the arms, which had held him so safely for countless nights after he had arrived here.

Gilraen's and Elrond's eyes met again. Hesitantly she released Estel and let Elrond take him. Instantly the boy hugged him around the neck as if holding onto a life line.

"I don't wanna go, Ada. Please, can't we stay and live here, too?" Estel pleaded, hiding his face in Elrond's robe.

Gilraen swallowed. Elrond sighed, closing his eyes in a futile attempt to hide from his own pain, desires and needs. He rubbed small soothing circles into Estel's back, pressing his cheek against the curly head that rested upon his shoulder.

"My little darling, you want to be with your nana, do you not? You always miss her so much when she is not here. You know, she cannot stay here, she belongs somewhere else. As do you. You belong to her, to your nana, my brave little one. Do not be sad, my Estel. We will always be with you, right here." Elrond pulled back a little and gently placed his palm over Estel's breast, realizing with a start that his hand covered the child's whole chest.

How small Estel still was, he thought. How young and how vulnerable.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, he added: "My darling, it is time for you to go with your mother. We will never stop loving you, and we will think of you everyday. But now you must go and be happy. Will you do that for me?"

Estel, his eyes filling rapidly with tears he tried to fight back with all his might, gazed up into his father's face. He knew his Ada would be saddened by an outburst of tears, so he tried his best to hold them back. But his eyes stung so much… and his chest felt as if it would burst any moment. For the first time in his short life his Ada's touch could not heal the pain he felt. Searching his father's eyes, he found only love and truth there. No rejection, no lie. Surely his Ada knew what would be best for him, didn't he? Yes, he decided. And since his Ada had told him he should go with his nana, he would do that.

Nodding, Estel hugged Elrond tightly one more time before he was handed back into his mother's waiting arms.

It took Gilraen every ounce of her strength to meet Elrond's gaze once more. In a mute plea he asked her to leave now, this instant, without further delay. Wordlessly he confided in her that he could not bear to prolong this farewell any longer – not without breaking down and shattering into a million pieces right in front of Estel. She nodded ever so slightly, signalling him that she understood and thanking him for his understanding in return. Estel looked around, his vision clouded by his yet unshed tears, and searched for his brothers, Glorfindel, Erestor, Lindir…

The three latter elves were nowhere in sight. They had already said their goodbyes to him the evening before, even gifted him with a toy sword and a book, but in his excitement about the presents he had not realized that it would be the last time Glorfindel would show him how to kill an imaginative Balrog, the last time Erestor tried to teach him how to write his own name properly, and the last time Lindir would sing and dance with him.

He sniffed, wiped his nose, still bravely fighting back his tears, and with great relief found his two brothers coming towards him just behind his father's back.

Elrond, his eyes cast down and his shoulders slightly slumped, stepped aside as he felt Elladan and Elrohir drawing close to say their farewells to their little brother.

"We will come and ride with your people as soon as possible, Estel. We will see each other often," Elladan said, but whether for Estel's sake or his own he knew not himself.

Still sniffing, Estel fiercely embraced first him, then Elrohir. The younger twin, who only moments ago had played and laughed with him in the garden so gleefully, repeated Elladan's vow in a low, sad whisper.

"Promise?" Estel asked, his small voice bordering on panic. The twins nodded mutely, fighting back tears of their own.

They hugged him close one last time and retreated into the shadows of the entrance of the Last Homely House.

Silently the dam, that had held back Estel's tears so far, broke. He knew it was only a few metres that separated him from his brothers, only a few swift steps even for one as small as him and he could touch his 'Dan and his 'Ro again. But for a reason he could not quite comprehend, to him his brothers suddenly were a million miles away. As if it would take him a lifetime to reach them ever again.

His mother cuddled his slightly shaking small form in her warm embrace, gently running her fingers through his hair.

"It is time, my darling," she said softly, then turned around and carried him to her waiting horse. Never letting go of him, she mounted her steed with the help of the two rangers that had escorted her to Imladris.

_Oh, little darling of mine,  
I can't for the life of me  
Remember a sadder day.  
I know they say let it be  
But it just don't work out that way  
And the course of a lifetime runs  
Over and over again._

__

Elrond knew not what kept him on his feet. His knees constantly tried to give way, and it was only through the sheer power of will alone that he kept standing. However, he did not dare to look up from the ground, did not have the strength to see his son riding away. Slowly, a cold claw grasped his heart, clenching it with a force he had almost forgotten in all the years that had passed since he had last set one that he loved free.

Then, without warning, something else grabbed him, too. Something hot, something that sent his heart into a wild race, hammering against his chest as if demanding to be released of its cage… - he would never see Estel again. Could not. For if he ever did, he knew it would hurt him so deeply he might not survive it. To keep his sanity, he would have to tell himself that Estel never existed, that he had never known this child, that he had never seen this ray of light in these dark days. He would never see Estel again. Never look upon this sweet face or gaze into those bright eyes ever again.

Never, never, never, never.

Panic choked him, deafening, blinding panic. Knotting his stomach, paralysing his lungs, piercing his very heart. Frantically he turned his head - at least to see his Estel one last time.

Then, Elrond swayed. His mouth opened, wanting to cry out, but no sound came forward. Heartbroken, he fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands.

They were gone; already out of his sight.

Never again would he see his Estel, his hope, his light.

He thought he could feel his very life seep out of him that very moment. Too much. It was too much. There was only so much loss a heart could take, and with Estel's loss, Elrond had reached his heart's limits. He was thrown back into places, times and pains he had left behind so long ago; he could not help being overwhelmed by the freshness of his repeated heartbreak.

His father, his mother, his brother, his king, his wife, and now his son - not even sired by him but nonetheless his child. He could see their faces, all of them, right in front of him. They were so close, he need only raise his hand to touch them – and yet he could not reach them.

"Ada!"

That frantic cry pulled his wavering soul back into the here and now. His hands dropped into his lap, his back tensed and he looked up and stared into the direction that cry had come from.

He held his breath.

Then suddenly there he was flying toward him, his face wet with tears and yet smiling; running as quickly as is short legs would carry him.

Elrond did not bother to rise. Was in fact too weak to do so. He just spread his arms wide open and waited for Estel to reach him.

_No, I would not give you false hope  
On this strange and mournful day  
But the father and child reunion  
Is only a motion away._

His little son threw himself into his embrace, wrapping arms and legs, his whole self, around Elrond, sobbing, panting, shaking, laughing, all at the same time, his galloping heart beating against his and his Ada's chests. So close were they, one could not tell where one ended and the other began.

Behind Estel came his mother, still on her horse, weeping as well and at the same time smiling down upon Elrond and her child with such gentleness and peacefulness that he knew she would not leave again.

"My Estel," Elrond sobbed out, still trying to comprehend that his son was back safely in his arms, never to be released again. He shut his eyes but the tears came nonetheless. He thought his heart would break anew, only this time from sheer joy.

"Never le'me go again, Ada, please, never again," his small son pleaded, half whispering and half wailing - as only a child could manage to do.

"No, never, sweet little darling of mine. Never again," he answered, squeezing Estel even tighter, rocking back and forth. He opened his eyes again and wonderingly saw Gilraen dismount and give her horse's reins to Elladan and Elrohir, who were watching the whole scene unfold in a state of grief-stricken, joy-dazed disbelief.

Slowly she walked up to Elrond and came to a halt by his side. Expectantly he looked up, still rocking Estel in his arms.

Gilraen kneeled down next to him and the child. She placed her left hand comfortingly on her son's back, while her other hand cupped Elrond's tear strained cheek and gently wiped away his silvery pearls with her thumb.

"You were there for us in our deepest despair," she explained softly, "You were the light in our darkest hour." She swallowed hard, moved by her memories of everything Elrond and his family had done for her and hers. Smiling, she added in a whisper, "I could not take that light away from you now. And not from him, either."

He gazed at her for a long time, moved beyond comprehension by what she had done for him. What she had given up for him and her son.

Silence, then, "Thank you," he finally managed to say. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

_We truly were meant to be  
__So spread your wings and fly  
__Butterfly_

The End.


End file.
